in 2020, i had a period of intensely questioning my gender. as part of my gender auto-studies, i changed my name to elio.
why elio? it wasn't just for the broody twink portrayed by timothée chalamet, but he definitely played a role.
i've felt some sort of connection to the character of elio perlman since i first saw the film (i've read the book as well but didn't find it as impactful – the film is just SO vibe-y in a way that can't be fully captured in a book for me).
the name felt right. it has similar sounds to my birth name, they're both italian, and they're both celestial.
my birth name means star. elio comes from the greek helios, meaning sun. i've always been a sun person, more into morning than night, summer than winter, hot weather than cold weather, and it felt right to be narrowing down my identity from just any star to the one that means the most to me. elio is the giver of life, the grower of peaches and the warmer of cheeks!

looking back on this, i realise i've basically accidentally manifested my life to be like elio perlman's. i've been living by the mediterranean for the past five years. i've fallen in love and had my heart broken and felt passion and pain in equal parts (i'm kind of done with that for now lol). i've filled my life with art and beauty, days at the beach, dancing with my friends, hiking and travelling. the film i used to watch to escape the dreariness of the constant grey and cold in the country i grew up in kind of became my life.